20th May 1946 – 18th June 2007

I’ve been trying to find the strength to write about this ever since FIL passed away. Somehow I couldn’t find that strength and even if I did, I’ve been lost for words to write.  On June 18th, 2007, the world truly lost one of it’s greatest assets when father-in-law, Haji Ahmad Bin Ismail at the age of 61 succumbed to heart failure and passed away. There is so much for us to say about this man, and there is possibly no way that it can all be said.

Father-in-law or Ayah as we called him was one of the most important people in our entire life. I hope that I can help reflect some feelings that all of you may have as well about someone who you held close to your heart. Ayah meant the world to my wife and I, Danish and also the family. So, this one’s for you Ayah.

We’ve often found that sharing in the pain can sometimes be as healing as getting a good laugh out of a joke that ayah would’ve played on us had he been around today. God we miss him! We still can’t seem to explain what losing someone does to you. When we look back in June 18th 2007, we couldn’t even tell you how we managed to get a grip of ourself after hearing the news. Personally, I must have swear that I felt my sanity slip away. The human mind is fascinating in that way because I really don’t remember a whole lot during the time frame of my father-in-law’s sudden passing and the funeral. It was like traveling through a thick fog. You remember everything before and after but somewhere in the middle, it was kind of hazy. I think that is our own way of protecting ourselves from remembering something that is so unbearable.

In a lot of ways though, I am thankful for that “haze” because there is a lot that I didn’t want to remember. Only good things. And that goes for Honey and her family as well. First part of our healing process when ayah passed away was to TRY and pretend that we could somehow get through things without him around. We had to get in touch with enough emotions to be able to put ayah behind, yet NEVER forget him. It’s really an impossible thing to do when you love someone so much that you just can’t live without them. That is when it comes down to what I and we, as muslims believe - ”Jodoh, ajal, maut di tangan Allah” .

I’d like to share a quote that Ayah used to always tell me that I still tell others that cross my path. It is about people that always have a tendency to dump their personal problems on others. This is what he used to say about them:

“Everybody in this world carries a bucket. And in that bucket is all of the everyday problems that each of us carry. When someone decides to unload their bucket into yours, you have too much of a load to carry and your bucket will overflow. BUT, if everyone keeps the same amount in each of their buckets and doesn’t dump it into others, we will all have the same amount to deal with in our lives.”

You can take that and do what you want with it, but I always remembered that  statement. It could be taken in so many different ways but to me, it just reminds me of a good man that meant the world to me. And I would’ve carried his bucket to the far ends of the universe if he was still around to make me laugh

Ayah has left an impression on me that will stay with me until the day that I die. He taught me what being a man was really about. He was the ultimate stand-up guy who you could trust to do anything he said he would do. He was loving, caring, and amazingly affectionate towards his children. He was a provider in every sense of the word.

The bond that I think will be strongest between him and I, though, is the one we shared as fathers. When Danish was born, I could tell he was just ecstatic. I remembered the day minutes after Danish was born when I hugged him as he whispered, “Congratulations, be a good father.” He was second to azan Danish’s tiny ears. We also washed the ‘uri’ together as he shared his experience of early fatherhood and later buried it in one of the mosque nearby. When Honey was positive and prengant with our second child, I couldn’t wait to place his new grandson into his arms, which would happen a few days later Insya Allah.

The thing is, by having a son of my own, things all started to come into perspective for me, and I could truly see where Ayah was coming from. Of course he loved his children dearly. In the same way that I love my son to death. The kind of love that is simply unmistakable, unshakeable, and unquestionable. By the same token, I now get what parents truly mean when they tell their child that they are proud of them. When I watch Danish do something new that he has never done before, or just experience the character that he is with an amazingly advanced sense of humor, I am just proud. Heck – I was proud of him before he started doing ANYTHING because of how hard he had to fight to stay alive when he was born grunting and lived the first week of his life in Intensive Care.

Ayah, you were the man in our life. You were a class act all around. We both promise that we will try to uphold the standards you had. We also promise that we will do everything in my power to make sure that your grandson, Danish, remembers who you are. As he grows, I will ensure that he, along with any other children I may be blessed enough to have in the future, knows what an amazing grandfather he had – both by verbally telling them of you, and by showing them by trying to be the father that you were to me and Honey. We love you dearly.

A lesson that I’ve learned, don’t find yourself forgetting someone that you cared so much for. Carry on their spirit and remember them always. Don’t put them completely behind you. I figure that we will ALL be together when our time is up. It’s just so hard trying to get to that point.

 Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh Ayah dan semoga tergolong dalam mereka yang beraqwa, Amin ya Rabbal Alamin.

From : Fahimi, Yusniza Hani & Wan Danish Haiqal

A husband, a father, a teacher and a very close friend… 

Al-fatihah buat ayahanda tercinta Hj. Ahmad Bin Ismail (ayah mertua) pada 18 June 2007, 4.05PM. Alhamdulillah, arwah selamat dikebumikan di Tanah Perkuburan Lintas Kajang, Klang, Selangor (bersebelahan Masjid Al-Rahimah, Klang). Semoga roh allahyarham dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan dikalangan org2 yg beriman dan beramal soleh. Amin.

Today I’m Awake
To Find You Still Gone…
Today I’m Awake
To The Words of A Song.
Today I’m Awake
To All That I Hear…
Today I’m AwakeTo Find You Still Near.

Al-fatihah for my late granma who passed away on the 12th May 2002. It was such an emotional saturday especially reminiscing the day it took place, the event and all. Al-fatihah. Moga Allah tempatkan beliau di kalangan mereka yang bertaqwa, Amin.  

I wrote an entry of her in my previous blog, dedicated the entry especially for her. I think I’m gonna republish it back here in wordpress later on. All those important and meaningful entries should be here as well. It’s gonna be like best of the best from rainyacid.blogspot,  i guess. At least, that’s the plan. Executing is another thing though…    

Semalam masa tengah commercial break during tv3 punye berita, there was this commercial about teacher’s day. Honey tiba2 tanya aku, “Abang x nak wish Honey ker?”. Haaa, wish ape? Keh keh, lupa lak bini aku pon pendidik. Lecturer pon kira cikgu la jugak kan? Hahaha, so dear… Happy Teacher’s Day for you; since there isn’t any Lecturer’s Day so far kan?! 

To all the teachers out there, Happy Teacher’s Day. Allah sahaja yang boleh membalas jasa kalian. A special shoutout to my teacher, Miss Sabarina in Jitra, Kedah. Selamat Hari Guru cikgu. Looking back, you’ve done a splendid job! God bless.  

Honey skarang dah masuk her 5 months pregnancy. Insya allah, next week kitorang pi scan during her monthly check up. Harap2 baby is safe and sound in there.

Okay, I’ll write something in here later on. Got something to do now. Take care people!

This is taken from rainyacid.blogspot.com. Somehow the photos won’t show there anymore. use to host my photos from hostima.net. No longer there I guess. Looks like I just have to go back and search for the photos to put in here. Tok Mek, this one’s for you…

http://rainyacid.blogspot.com/2004/05/still-in-blues-history-revisited-i.html

It was 4pm and I received an sms from Danish’s nursery teacher this one day saying, “<I>Danish demam, asyik sebut ayah n ibu je dari tadi. Dia x nak makan, asyik baring je</I>”. Immediately I replied, “I’m on my way back”. Lps amik Honey dari college, terus drive ke nursery. Danish was there looking sick. One thing we notice was that his nodes were swelling at the back of his neck together with the fever. Due to this, Danish macam takut nak toleh kepala kiri kanan. Macam bengkak tu saket utk dia toleh. Fearing that it was mumps, mlm tu terus bawak ke klinik and after examination, doctor tu suggest kitorg refer kat hosp selayang. Sampai sana, doctor amik darah and nearly and hour later the result showed that there has been some infection. They suggested that we come the next day to refer an ENT specialist. They next day Danish was warded. It was not mumps. It was a lymph node infection where the nodes got enlarged and swelled a lot.    

Doctor bagi metronol antibiotic hoping that the enlarged nodes would reduce to avoid CTScan and operation. Dripping the antibiotic through his left hand, 3 times a day, alhamdulillah after 24 hours the enlarged nodes started to show signs of reducing. Sminggu danish warded, sminggu tu jugak aku & Honey tido kat hospital. Ibu dia punye air mata takyah cakap la. Alhamdulillah, skarang ni dah sembuh. Sekarang pon Danish dah ceria macam dulu. Cuma ada la sesekali tu kena p appointment utk follow up pasal case dia. Harap2 ok laa. Insya allah.

Yin returned to his parents by a Myanmar couple who found him on March 31st. The gaza behind the whole things is another story though. Good thing is, Yin is happily reunited with his family. Alhamdulillah.

In searching for Nazrin.  

Muhammad Nazrin (Yin), 5 was last seen at 2pm on Saturday (March 31) when he was on the 2nd Floor of Sogo Shopping Complex, Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman. Yin was out shopping with his father Shamsul Ghazali Shamsudin, mother Nor Amizah and 4 year-old brother Mohd Nazmi. They are from Medan Klebang Restu, Chemor, Perak. His distraught parents are awaiting news of his return. A police report had already been lodged.

Yeah, my heart bleeds for Yin and his parents. May god give them strength. It’s a sad thing knowing that this is not their parents first experience at losing him. They once lost him in Tesco Ipoh last time but found him back within 10 minutes. This is indeed a painful lesson for Shamsul and Amizah including all parents out there.

I must admit, I’m kinda paranoid when it comes to things like this. Damn, I couldn’t imagine the same thing happening to my own son, Danish, Nauzubillahi min zalik. Wherever in a shopping mall I won’t let Danish out of my sight. Even if I have to go into the fitting room and try on those yummy padini shirts or pants, I would drag Danish into the fitting room together with me when some people would think that it’s absurd. Well, I don’t give a damn of people thoughts and rather be absurd than risking losing my child. The fact is, kids are very prone at “slipping” away unnoticed.

I must say sometimes a kid, even Danish can be hyperactive especially when the young soul is dealing with the excitement and joy of being in a shopping mall or a crowded place. All it takes is a split second for him to go missing. Fearing the worse, I pray that Yin is in safe hands and be reunited soon with his parents, Amin.
 

Hi there people. Felt like decades since I’ve last blogged. I’ve been thinking of doing this since who knows when – to actually shift from blogspot to another host. Only then maybe and maybe I can start blogging more frequently. (I haven’t stop blaming the net for not blogging all these while eh!Haha… Some things don’t change!) And wordpress must thank my buddy, Yan for having this blog of mine published here for so-called promoting it to me. She’s the one who’s been constantly blogging here anyway when others are all down with the bahalog syndromes and whatever bloggers-lazy-to-blog syndromes out there . By the way, she’s just counting the days to get her bundle of joy really, really soon. So all the best to Yan and hubby Mods.

Well, life has been kinda hectic to the three of us now since Honey started teaching in a private college in Bangi. And wow, Danish is now 2 1/2 years and he’s now going to a nursery just oppposite our homie daily. And we are both proud on how he tolerated with the changes and all. I mean, it ain’t easy having your mummy around you 24/7 fulltime after 2 years time and suddenly mummy started working again. I must say, he adapted quite well, really. We’re proud of you son!  

Alhamdulillah, Honey is now pregnant with our 2nd child. It’s been nearly 4 months now but unlike her first pregnancy during Danish’s time dulu, this time she hardly had any pregnancy allergies. (Masa Danish dulu cam Batman sbb she couldn’t stand the sun light. Rumah kitorg pon dah cam gua sbb 24/7 asyik gelap je!) The doctor and the opah bidan told us that it might be a girl this time. Tapi tak kesah la mana2 pon, janji sihat n selamat, Insya Allah.

Ok, got some stuffs to finish here. That’s not too bad for a start eh? I’ll try to blog as frequently as I could this time around. Power to the people! Take care. Regards from me, Honey and Danish Haiqal.

Wassalam.

Wake up people! Acid Rain’s Blog is now in wordpress. So, chk this out y’all and stay put!!!…